When you say “Sawubona”, I say “Sikhona”.

How this powerful South African greeting got me unstuck and out there

I write for a living. Website copy, blog posts, magazine articles, LinkedIn. For other people’s businesses and for mine. So why is writing this Substack article so hard?

When it came to publishing this first Substack article– my mind put up more of a fight than our 3 year old not wanting to put on a their shoes to go to nursery.

Then factor in that the tagline for the business I run with my husband is “show up online with confidence, be found with ease” – the irony runs deep..
Somehow I couldn’t bring myself to do, the very thing that I encourage others to do all the time - show up online, tell their story. The exact same work I do, that I help people do through writing ­- was giving me a questioning side eye.

“Are you even good enough to do this?”

A new saying

But then… then I was introduced to the South African greeting.
“Sawubona” : “I see you”

And its simple but powerful reply.
“Sikhona” : “I am here (to be seen)”

And let me tell you, the way this phrase spoke to me!! 😮‍💨– I knew it had gotten very up close and personal with the reason for the resistance I was feeling about starting a Substack newsletter.

I was afraid.

Afraid of this part of me being seen.

Choosing to write on Substack is not directly linked to my line of work, to earning an income or helping someone else build their business.
I don’t have any ‘sensible goals’ or Key Performance Indexes, or end of year targets to hide behind.

So which parts of me are tentatively stepping out to take up more space?
It’s the dreaming, questioning, yet hopeful church girl bent towards social justice, the mama of three who feels she has no time but doesn’t want to resist the pull to write anymore, the Black woman who is on a steady but also bumpy journey towards (being fully) herself, the struggling in art class 14 year old who is, 30+ years later daring to call herself an Artist.

Those parts.

When I dreamt about what I wanted to do with my Nomad61 newsletter, I knew it would feel more intimate than other writing I do, because of the depth/length and because of the themes I will write about.

I was once taught that an easy way to remember what “intimacy” meant, was to think of the phrase “into-me-you-see”. The idea that being intimate with someone, meant allowing them to see beyond our outer layers, to see us in a more open, vulnerable light.

And no – this newsletter/article (depending on where you’re reading it🙃) is not going to be the place where I ‘bare it all, leave no personal private stone untuned’

But it does leave me wondering – how do I steward my journey well?
How will I gain the confidence to allow myself to be (responsibly) intimate and be seen here?
How do I honour my fear, knowing that connection to myself and with others might await on other side of it?

It’s personal. And that’s ok.

My reason for writing on Substack feels different to the other kind of writing I do online because it is different.

My reason for writing on Substack is personal – it’s to share my twists+turns journey, my experiences, discoveries. To express my thoughts around identity, belonging, faith, social justice, cross-cultural & multi-lingual living – and to hear yours, too.
I am on Substack to connect with, learn from and offer courage and inspiration to others. And be encouraged and inspired, too.

I guess, I am writing to say both “Sawubona” and “Sikhona”.

I see you.
I am here.

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The Nomad61 newsletter is a collection of personal essays from me with splashes of poetry, reflective questions, storytelling and affirmations for anyone on a journey exploring identity, belonging, faith, social justice and creativity.
Not necessarily in that order.

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